Before the game my opponent asked me my grade. As he's a little kid I tried to intimidate him and growled "It's on the board ourtside". I'd already looked him up. He's 1905(131) to my 1780(106).

1. e4 e5 2. Nc3 Oh dear. He's a kid and he's playing an unusual opening. This probably means that he's been coached in it by grandmasters or something. After all, this IS the 4NCL. All I know about the Vienna is that if you don't know it (which I don't of course), you can get stomped on very quickly. Better dig out my trusty club night anti-Vienna move. 2... Bb4 Great! He's exchanging baffled looks with his brother on the next board. It worked! 3. Nf3 Bxc3 4. bxc3 d6 That should do to get him out of the books. Now it's me against him. 5. Bc4 Nf6 6. d3 O-O 7. O-O "Don't pin the KN till he's castled" so it must be ok now. 7... Bg4 8. Rb1 Hmm. No choice. 8... b6 9. Qe2 Not sure what he's up to now, but my QR could be trapped in some lines. 9... c6 10. Bg5 Nbd7 11. h3 I wouldn't mind swapping bishops because it opens the f-file for me. 11... Be6 12. Bb3 Can't see any tactics, so play a positional move. This removes his pin, and connects my rooks. 12... Qc7 13. Nd2 a5 14. a4 Round about here, our esteemed editor, webmaster and club president arrived (it's just one person, folks). So I went to have a chat to him for a while even though my clock was ticking. We've got zonks of time (7 hours) and I reckoned it would rack the kid off. 14... Rab8 15. Bh4 I don't really understand what's happening. I'd expected a big K-side attack by now. Perhaps this is positional chess? I always wondered what that was. Anyway, I've got enough bits to defend the K-side, so I'll try to crash through the other side. 15... b5 16. Bg3 Nc5 17. Bxe6 fxe6 18. axb5 What to take it with? I think I'll keep my rook behind the pawn. 18... cxb5 19. c4 b4 I can't be winning, can I? 20. f4 Wow! That looks like a desperate move. So long as I'm careful, I think I can hold the centre. Kids always look so confident though. 20... exf4 21. Bxf4 e5 22. Be3 a4 23. g4 All I've got to do is keep my nerve. Maybe. 23... a3 24. Nb3 I want to keep my knight on. It could be tricky to queen this pawn. 24... Na4 25. Ra1 a2 Setting a trap. If RxP, Nc3 forking R and Q 26. Qe1 As expected, he saw it. Never mind, it keeps him on his toes. 26... Nc3 27. Bd2 Didn't see that. I could end up losing N for B and both those pawns. Then I'm dead. 27... Qa7+ 28. Kg2 Qa3 looks tempting, but I don't think it helps. Get reinforcements. I need to dislodge his knight. 28... Nd7 29. Rxf8+ Rxf8 30. Qe3 I think swapping Qs loses. 30... Nc5 31. Nxc5 dxc5 32. Bxc3 bxc3 33. Qc1 Funnily enough, that pawn's safe while my Qs there. Getting tired now. Time for a big gamble. Dare I do it? Yes - let's go for mate the other side. 33... Qf7 34. Qe3 What about Qf1 and then exchanges? I get my P through, but his is still on, and he's a pawn up. Try another way. 34... Qa7 35. Qc1 Shall I go for a repetition? Looks like he'd settle for that. I'm getting palpitations now. Can feel face going red from overworked heart. better move quick before I have heart attack. 35... Rb8 36. Qg5 I work out that if I go say Rb1, he goes Rxa2 and ends up mating me on h4. So ... 36... Qa3 37. Qxe5 Rf8 38. Rf1 This is desperate stuff. I think he thinks he gets a perpetual, but i don't. 38... Rxf1 39. Qe6+ Rf7 40. Qe8+ Rf8 41. Qe6+ Kh8 Now, surely, at last, I have a forced win? Just worried that I'll fall for a back-row mate or something.. Slow down, heart. 42. Qe7 Qa8 43. g5 a1=Q 44. g6 There must be a forced mate. Brain so tired I can only see a couple of moves ahead, and the mates look at though they take at least four. Oh well, just play checks. 44... Qf1+ 45. Kg3 Rf3+ 46. Kg4 Qc8+ 47. Kh4 At last, I see the mate. 47... Rxh3+ 48. Kg5 h6# Mate with a pawn is so elegant, don't you think? Black mates 0-1